My eyelids are drooping, almost to the floor,
because I have been living a dream
that never touched my inner core.
My eyelids are drooping, they're exhausted
from all the truths that I have seen.
Is he right for me, is this wrong?
Is he the one?
I have not a clue, for he gave and gives me love,
but it is not in my heart it went,
but through my ears and out again.
No matter how much love he pours in,
it is only God who decides who I love
and whose heart I will win.
Tired, beyond all measure.
Exhausted of trying on my own accord
to love, when I felt none,
to love, because he loved me,
to love because he needed that so desperately.
Once again I failed to step back,
step out, to believe
that one day I could truly have
all I want.
Or maybe I must believe that
God is giving me all I want
without my knowing,
or understanding, or faith.
For when I am faithless,
He remains full,
for He is God,
and no other can determine my destiny.
After all, what do I want?
I want to be happy, I want to laugh.
I want to be madly in love.
I want to talk for hours
on the phone or Internet.
I want to write a book
and have someone read it.
I want someone who loves
to listen to me talk.
I want someone who
spontaneously takes me on a walk.
I want to love someone so much
that it almost hurts.
I want to accept that goodness can come my way
and that not all of life has to be a struggle
but some things are a blessing from God
and we must accept this with grace
for it is not everyday we find love.
It is not everyday that we receive.
What is God's way?
Show him only that way.
